


In a world where I was yours

by thatgirlyeojoo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: A fic where all your Seventeen ships sail across the Yellow Sea, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Arranged Marriage, Historical Inaccuracy, M/M, Mentioned CYZJ idols, Minor Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Minor Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Minor Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK, Minor Kim Mingyu/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Minor Violence, Minor Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Non-Linear Narrative, Past Life Regression, SEVENTEEN 96z
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29881683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgirlyeojoo/pseuds/thatgirlyeojoo
Summary: "It's the first time that we're living this life, so how can you be good at it from the beginning?"But Soonyoung recalls a life he didn't know he lived 300 years ago. And there, he is married to a man that is not Jihoon.Soonyoung sets off to find answers.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. Oh, you were a good dream

**Author's Note:**

> There might be a lot of inaccuracies with the historical references and places mentioned. I did my research while writing, but it will always be insufficient. Like I always say, **fiction is fiction**. Please take the info here with a grain of salt, and if you spot any issues, let me know via dm [@shykneeonyou](https://twitter.com/shykneeonyou) on twt.
> 
> This is supposed to be my take on Seventeen's Second Life, but the title is from Ben&Ben's [Lifetime](https://open.spotify.com/track/3X9c4tBzSdGhlO4Fx3WYgW?si=742dc5797a8d42f6).
> 
> Special thanks to twt user @wonwooist17 aka Sistorr for being so excited about this one ♥

The elders have been right in their prediction that this week will be the best day to hold the wedding rites. The sky is clear, and the sun hanging overhead is providing just the right warmth to chase away the remaining chill from the departing winter.

The year is 1726.

The grand union of Wen Junhui and Xu Minghao has been declared for the whole city to witness. The Xus enjoy a fair share of influence given the patriarch's respectable position in the palace, while the Wens control a majority of the commerce in the cities lining the Yellow Sea. Moreover, right from its announcement some three years ago, the marriage has been a rich goldmine of rumours within the city. Naturally, everyone would want to be here.

Fireworks have been set off to fend off bad luck, and all that deem themselves important enough or thirst for more gossip have joined the festivities that followed. It's a week-long banquet, and if Junhui is completely honest about it, he thinks the scale of the feast is overkill. He is never a fan of large gatherings or being the centre of everyone's attention. 

But because all that happened leading up to this day has offended the Xus and embarrassed the Wens enough, he opts not to say anything about it anymore. There are more important things to consider. The best thing about it is that Junhui can eat as much as he can and meet his old friends. Yan An, whom he hasn't seen in such a long time, has even travelled all the way from Shanghai just to congratulate him. 

"I heard about what happened in Chaoxian," Yan An says.

Junhui smiles at his friend. Looks around for Xu men just to be safe. He sees Minghao standing with his guard, Mingyu, in the distance. "Let us avoid mentioning that here, lest you want to be dragged away out of the banquet," Junhui says discreetly. "I am just so glad to finally see you again. Let us not complicate things."

Yan An gives Junhui an apprehensive look, but Junhui simply waves it all away. 

When the time comes, Junhui accepts a pat on the shoulder from his friend before going inside.

The wedding rites have been conducted first in the Wen household at the start of the week. Today, they're bowing in front of the Xu family altar, paying tribute to heaven and earth, the family ancestors, and the Kitchen God, seeking their blessing for a prosperous married life. Then, they pour tea with lotus seeds and offer them to Minghao's parents. 

Junhui knows the Xus still have resentment for him, but for the sake of the festivities, they smile graciously at their new son-in-law. After all, they are the ones who insisted on having him as part of their family.

And as their custom dictates, finalising the ceremony with a bow to his betrothed, Junhui turns to look at Minghao.

"Do you, Kwon Soonyoung, take Lee Jihoon to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the officiant asks.

The weather forecast has been correct in saying that this is going to be the most ideal day to be wedded. There is a perfect balance of chilly air and warm sunshine as winter and spring compete with each other to take over the season.

The year is 2026.

Family and friends have gathered to witness their union─finally, after seven long years of dating. Cliché as this may sound, but it seems only yesterday when they first met. And in a silly incident, too─Soonyoung was rushed into the ER for a stupid stunt he pulled off at a party, and that was where his path first crossed with Jihoon, the attending physician. 

Their journey has been a rollercoaster ride since that day. Jihoon thought he was tripping when he kept coming back for random check-ups and asking for him specifically even though his concerns are outside of Jihoon's scope of expertise. Through the help of Hansol and Seungkwan─Soonyoung's co-worker and the head nurse at the hospital with Jihoon, respectively─things headed to the right decision. (Hansol and Seungkwan end up dating each other too, and now, they are the best men of this wedding.)

Today is the day they celebrate.

Warmth spreads across Soonyoung's chest as he faces Jihoon, their fingers intertwined between them and their eyes locked in a loving gaze. After all the things they have gone through as a couple, he has never thought this would be even possible: that he would come to the point in his life when he would be asked that question and have the chance to say, "I do."

All the tension is visibly lifted off Jihoon's chest, given the way his shoulders have sagged and his eyebrows have relaxed as soon as Soonyoung gave his answer. A wordless banter passes between them, delivered through their eyes as they smile at each other while the officiant continues with the ceremony on their side.

_For a moment there, I was so scared you wouldn't say 'I do.'_

_Like I could ever do that to you._ Soonyoung smirks at Jihoon, who rolls his eyes in turn. _Of course, I'd say 'I do,' a hundred and even a thousand times over._

They exchange rings after that, and upon cue, they sealed their marriage with a kiss to everyone's applause.

It has been a week since Junhui and Minghao's wedding ceremony. 

The festive mood in their city has finally died down, and now, only a handful of their neighbours make a remark or two about the recent event. Most of these remarks are directed at Minghao, of course; Junhui is the outsider here, as he is the one who moved to Beijing to live with his husband. 

Before their union, they barely knew each other; as a result, they tiptoe around each other, seven days into their married life. They barely talk even as they eat every meal together, sleep in the same room on the same bed, and spend all of their free time together (and they happen to have a _lot_ because their household staff does everything; their parents don't want them to get back to work right away). Their conversation only revolves around "Please pass the salt" and "Please put out the lamp" and "Father has written a letter to ask if we're doing well." 

Junhui is frustrated about this and a lot more other things.

He spends most of his days reading the books his parents sent him. They are preparing him to expand the family business in the capital. He also exchanges letters with his brother, who is greatly concerned about his well-being and misses him a lot. They haven't had much time to be together even before the wedding. He assures Fengjun that he's alright and that he's sorry he can't be there for him. 

Meanwhile, Minghao is fond of painting. Every morning after breakfast, he can be found under the shade of the cherry blossom tree in the middle of the courtyard with a roll of cloth and a set of paintbrushes. Some of his paintings are already hanging on the wall over their bed.

Things change for them when Minghao suddenly enters the library at dusk.

"Do you want to head out to the city?"

The question dangles between them, held on an imaginary stick by Minghao in front of Junhui's bewildered face. He doesn't expect an offer like this would ever come because he thinks Minghao is the kind of person who won't talk unless he is being spoken to. Perhaps, he is as equally frustrated about their set up as Junhui is. 

Junhui has spent a huge chunk of his youth living in coastal cities, first in Shenzhen where he was born and in Tianjin where his family relocated after his seventh birthday. Hence, Junhui is used to life by the sea. Beijing is far too inland in his standards, and he hasn't had a chance to explore the city alone out of his fear of getting lost in the unfamiliar landscape. Minghao's suggestion to head out in the city feels like a beacon shining in the middle of the sea. 

"Sure."

The Wangfujing Snack Street glitters with life from every corner as the sun sets in Beijing. While the roads leading here are mostly lined with modern restaurants and shops, the path beyond the traditional archway seems stuck in the old times. The place is packed with tourists, curious about the various food and trinkets in display. 

Soonyoung and Jihoon join the crowd hand in hand as they flit through the stalls lining the street. 

It's their honeymoon in Beijing. They picked this place specifically because they haven't been here before. Soonyoung, in particular, is curious about the city due to its rich history. Jihoon simply wants to get out of South Korea for a change.

Soonyoung has painstakingly put together all the plans and made the DIY itinerary for this trip just so he could impress his husband. He even braved the daunting task of filling out online forms. This tour of the Wangfujing Snack Street, however, is a spontaneous side trip that Jihoon inserted into their schedule after coming across the name while looking at the map.

So Soonyoung can no longer claim that he has made the itinerary a hundred percent all by himself. But seeing Jihoon's face light up at the colourful tower of skewered candied fruits in front of them makes it all okay. Soonyoung can just do ninety then, and he'll credit Jihoon for the remaining ten percent. Everything it takes to make Jihoon smile.

What they don't know about this place, however, is that aside from candied fruits, the street snack is also most famous for its wide variety of exotic food. They have always known subconsciously that such places exist in China, but they didn't know it is exactly this street. As they walk further, the selection of skewered snacks becomes weirder and weirder, and Jihoon's excitement about the candied fruits from earlier is now replaced with mild horror at the bugs spread out in front of them.

"Must be a great experience to try one of these," Soonyoung says, pointing at the sticks of centipede. "I heard people lost in the wild can survive on these critters for a while."

"As a principle, I wouldn't even think of going into the wild," Jihoon says firmly.

They get into a little squabble about trying some and who should eat what. In the end, it is Soonyoung who sinks his teeth into a piece of worm. Everything for Jihoon, really. That's just how whipped he is for his husband.

"Don't expect me to kiss you at all tonight after that," Jihoon tells him, squeamish at Soonyoung's slow chewing.

"It's only weird because it's some kind of worm, but it doesn't taste bad," Soonyoung says thoughtfully. "Here, try it─" he teases, leaning down at Jihoon for a worm-infused smooch. This sends Jihoon running away with a yell. 

After that, the rest of their walk down the snack street is spent taking photos together and watching the skillful food preparation of the stall owners to lure customers in.

As they reach the end of the street, they find a stall selling souvenir items. Soonyoung mulls buying some for Seungkwan and Hansol. Jihoon, on the other hand, carefully picks one with a pink bead shaped like a lotus flower and red tassels, which he ties carefully around the belt loops of Soonyoung's pants.

"Thank you so much for bringing me here," Soonyoung says.

Despite his former resolve to never kiss him, Jihoon tiptoes to peck Soonyoung in the lips anyway as a response. 

The crowd jostles them from every corner, but this little moment is too intimate to let the world disturb them. Soonyoung chooses to set aside the sense of déjà vu that washes over him like a tidal wave. 

Junhui makes it a point to wear the lotus charm on his belt the following morning. 

Minghao gave it to him last night when they ventured out in the city. Even as Mingyu followed them around like a loyal dog in the distance, they were able to look around the market with ease. There were a lot of things to see─expensive silks and porcelains on display, rice cakes and wines to sample. It was a nice trip, overall. When they came across a merchant selling ornaments, Minghao took one look at the charm hanging from a cart and suddenly thought of giving it to Junhui because "it will look great on your robes." Mingyu only approached them to hand in Minghao's money bag and paid the merchant a bronze coin.

The lotus charm seems to have dissolved all the uncomfortable tension between them since the wedding rites. After walking away from the cart, they started being more open to each other and asking new questions. It really isn't much, but it's better than nothing. Junhui is starting to glean from the long conversation that followed all the way home how good of a person Minghao is.

So the trinket dangles there and bounces lightly on Junhui's side for Minghao to see. Junhui should have given his husband something in return, but the unexpectedness of that moment rendered his brain completely blank. He could only thank his husband for taking him there. 

"See, I told you it would look good," Minghao comments when Junhui enters the east wing. The dishes are laid out in front of Minghao, but he hasn't started on anything.

Junhui pats the charm. "It does. Thank you again," he says, sitting at the other side of the table. That's only when Minghao picks up his chopsticks, and they begin to eat. He really should present Minghao with something. Maybe more fabric to paint on; Minghao can make a tapestry out of it. He makes a mental note of doing that the next time they head out.

"I'm visiting my father at the Palace City. Would you like to join me?" Minghao asks as Junhui starts on his soup. 

Junhui looks up from the bowl. _Just in time_ , he thinks.

"The city looks much more different at daytime," Minghao explains. "I thought that perhaps you'd like to see that too."

After breakfast, they head out as planned (and with Mingyu following distantly again like always).

Normally, Junhui won't be allowed to enter the perimeter of the Palace City. Also known as the Forbidden City, the place got that name for a reason. But since he's coming in with the son of one of the officials, he is granted entry. Maybe it's one thing he can flaunt to his brother in his next letter. Excitement builds up inside him. He and Minghao walk side by side as they pass through the Meridian Gates.

"Are you sure we can see everything here in one day?" Jihoon asks, adjusting his sunglasses. 

"I hope."

Excitement bubbles up inside Soonyoung. This is the main point of their trip to China.

They are standing just past the Meridian Gate of the expansive Palace Museum. They are able to save time and skip the long lines as Soonyoung has booked their tickets in advance. A majestic building is visible in the distance, and a quick consultation of the map tells Soonyoung it's the Gate of Supreme Harmony. He can't wait to approach it and marvel at its architecture, but they have to wait for the private guide he has hired for this visit. It has cost him quite a lot, but it should be worth it to be able to see everything significant in one day.

Other tourists mill about the site, taking photographs of the ancient Chinese structures. It's amazing to Soonyoung how millennia have passed and yet the palace still stands in its glory for the new generation to see. It's great too that they can enter now because back in those days he wasn't allowed─

Soonyoung drops the map in his hand. The overwhelming sense of déjà vu is back, sloshing inside him like disturbed ocean waves.

Jihoon watches the map land on the ground before stooping to pick it up. "What's wrong?" he asks, looking up at his husband whose eyes have glazed over. 

It isn't even a particularly hot day—the spring has just started—but he's sweating profusely.

"Are you ill?" Jihoon approaches him cautiously, taking in his bewildered state and cupping his cheeks. "Do you want to go back to the hotel and lie down first? I think we woke up too early for this…"

Soonyoung waves his concerns away. 

_No, he wants to be here. He wants to stay._

"If you're worrying about the tickets we paid for─" Jihoon insists, but Soonyoung cuts him off.

"It's okay," he says. "Let's keep going."

"But the guide isn't here yet…?"

It doesn't matter: Soonyoung suddenly knows where to go. He remembers this place from an old recollection he isn't even aware of until now. He doesn't consult the map when he strides over to the set of stairs to the right of the entrance. Jihoon has no choice but to keep up with his urgent pace.

When he came in here long ago, he didn't even get past the Gate of Supreme Harmony even though he wanted to. He has _always_ wanted to.

"Soonyoung, we might get lost. Where are you going?"

He has to ignore his husband for the meantime in favour of climbing the steps leading up to the doorway into the southeast side of the Palace City. Just as he recalls and just as he expected to see past the wall, there it stands─the Hall of Literary Glory.

"It's still just as beautiful," Soonyoung murmurs, staring at the old building in awe. There are people dressed in modern attire strolling about and taking photographs, but there used to be officials in robes working here.

"We're seeing this for the first time," Jihoon points out. 

"No, I've been here," Soonyoung says forcefully, pacing in front of the building, trying to peek inside. He isn't sure whether he can just enter. The echo in the hollow chambers of his mind still says he can't do that because it's forbidden even though it's practically a museum today. "Behind that is the library," he adds.

"No, the map says it's the Pavillion of Literary Profundity."

"Yeah. In my time, it was the Imperial Library."

"What do you mean _in your time_ ─"

"That's where your father used to work!" he says loudly in his frustration─how come Jihoon doesn't know this? He points at the old structure before finally turning to look at Jihoon. 

"What are you talking about?"

Soonyoung drops his hand to his side slowly as realisations dawn on him.

_Jihoon… he isn't that man._

Soonyoung is looking through the eyes of a man called Wen Junhui, who was able to enter the Palace City for the first time in his life, accompanied by someone he recognised as his husband. 

But Jihoon is not the man that Junhui sees. He's not the same tall man with a lanky frame and piercingly sharp eyes that are almost scary─except Junhui knew he was kind and gentle and patient. His ears were pointy on either side of his head, and given his limited vocabulary at the time, Junhui thought he looked like a deity. Soonyoung now thinks he resembles a fairy, silly as it may sound. From the deepest pits of his memory, Soonyoung uncovers a fervent sense of gratitude for this man.

"You are not my husband," Soonyoung says in a daze.

The crowd screamed as the lights dimmed and Lee Taemin appeared on stage. Excitement bubbled within Soonyoung; he'd always been a fan of SHINee, and no matter how many times he had seen their live performances (since 2015 when he started earning his own money and was able to afford to buy his tickets), he was always in awe of their talent. The rest of the members were serving in the military, so it was a solo concert for tonight. Soonyoung liked it just the same.

Jihoon sat beside him, clutching a SHINee lightstick. They were on a date. 

Yes, Hansol and Seungkwan have both successfully managed to set them up. From there, Jihoon started becoming more interested in Soonyoung, so they were already on their fifth date or something. Seriously, Soonyoung had already lost count. He simply loved every moment of it.

Lately, the theme of their dates was to introduce the other to their hobbies and favourite things. Jihoon, when he isn't donning his white coat or medical gown, liked playing computer games, so their previous date was spent in Jihoon's house just being a nerd in front of Soonyoung about Final Fantasy. Soonyoung sucked in the game, by the way, so he just watched Jihoon play, in awe of the game's storyline.

This time was Soonyoung's turn to introduce Jihoon to his never-ending love for SHINee. Jihoon has, of course, heard of their many earworm-inducing songs, but he has never been to any of their concerts.

"Prepare to be amazed," Soonyoung said excitedly. "All those great things you've seen them do on TV doesn't compare to what goes on in live stages."

Soonyoung was having too much fun. He loved the atmosphere in concert halls and watching the idols he admired the most. When the song changed to Danger, he turned to Jihoon to yell about it. 

But Jihoon was already looking at him, staring with a fond expression, even though it's freaking Lee Taemin performing in front of them.

"What?" Soonyoung asked as the beats leading up to the first chorus started. It only dawned on him that he had missed the entire first part of his favourite track, but none of that mattered as Jihoon's eyes twinkled with the reflection of the stage lights, his face flashing in and out of neon due to the strobe lights and lasers.

"Are you happy?" Jihoon mouthed, voice drowning in the loud music.

Soonyoung nodded, cheeks all bunched up in a smile. "Very."

Jihoon leaned closer, closer, and Soonyoung waited for what was to come. Jihoon seemed to be seeking permission, so Soonyoung closed his eyes and let it all happen. Jihoon planted a soft kiss on his lips. 

After the concert, they walked out the double doors of the hall, their fingers intertwined. It was officially their first day together as a couple.

Seven years later, Soonyoung is dragging his luggage across their living room, with Jihoon trailing behind him and crying.

"Don't you think you're being ridiculous?" Jihoon says. Angry tears roll down his face, and Soonyoung can no longer bear to look at him. "Not to mention─ _unfair_ ? Just because of some stupid hallucination you had─during our _honeymoon_ , no less─you're leaving me, your _actual_ husband, to look for your soulmate or whatever?"

Soonyoung stops just before the threshold to face Jihoon. It's weird because after more than seven years of being together, it feels like he doesn't know him anymore. He sees the shadow of a different man on his husband. He hangs his head in shame. It shouldn't be like this.

"I'm really sorry, Jihoon," he says quietly.

He doesn't really want to do this, but what he experienced at the Palace City keeps on bugging him for weeks. He doesn't understand why he saw a different man in Jihoon. For a long time, he believed he and Jihoon were made for each other because of how perfect they are as a couple. Sure, their relationship has had its low times, but they are mostly happy. He is naïve like that, but he likes to think there is a significant reason other than his broken ankle that allowed their paths to cross on that fateful night at the hospital. Is their marriage a mistake? Is Jihoon not the right person?

But God knows just how much Soonyoung loves Jihoon. 

He could just choose to stay with his husband and forget all those things. Hell, they just got married almost two months ago. But ever since that day, he's been bothered by all sorts of random visions─of eating meals together, having afternoon tea at the veranda, deep conversations about the society and life, and trading secrets (about what they are exactly, he is yet to find out because the words are warped in Soonyoung's ears) with a man who wasn't reincarnated as Jihoon. What happened to that man?

It's difficult to explain the complexity of it because he knows not everyone gets the chance to remember their past lives. Yet, that's exactly it─a rare chance he has to grab. He needs this time away to put the pieces together into one comprehensive timeline of his history.

Soonyoung wants to know the role Jihoon played in his life when he still lived as Junhui. He wants to find his husband and know what happened to him back in those days and in the present because his memories of that man are always associated with gratefulness. He feels like he owes him _so much_. 

_Xu Minghao. His name is Xu Minghao_ , his brain supplies out of the blue. _He knows this from the three characters inscribed at the bottom of a tapestry that hangs in the library─one with the image of the waterfalls surrounded by lush forest depicted on it. This is the fabric Junhui has bought for Minghao after their trip to the Palace City, and many days later, Minghao has finally completed his painting. Junhui attached it on the wall personally, refusing help from the household staff._

Soonyoung's eyes refocuses following yet another vision. It has just become the rubber stamp on his decision to leave.

"I'll be back, I promise," Soonyoung says in anguish. "I've explained everything to you, and I know it's hard to understand now, but please let me do this."

Jihoon sniffles, wipes his face indignantly with the back of his hands like a child, and Soonyoung's heart twists in his chest at the sight.

"Fine. You really want to look for your _husband_?" he says, suddenly fuming. "Then go. I'm not your husband, didn't you say that? Fucking go!"

He pushes Soonyoung towards the door and hauls the suitcase into the hall for him. It wobbles before toppling over, its extended handle creating a sharp noise against the tiles. His face contorts as a sob threatens to break through again, but before he can completely cry in despair in front of Soonyoung, he shuts the door hard. 

"You're really going back to China for this?" Hansol asks incredulously.

He and Soonyoung are at the restaurant on the ground floor of the hotel Soonyoung is staying in for the night. Soonyoung has his laptop open in front of him. He is barely touching the sandwich behind the screen. Meanwhile, Hansol scrolls through his phone, undoubtedly waiting for updates about Jihoon from Seungkwan. He has come over as soon as punching out of office after hearing about what happened. Like a good tag team, he and Seungkwan have split the task of checking up on their best friends. Seungkwan is currently with Jihoon.

 **_Seungkwan_ ** _05:26:17 PM_

_I can't believe you actually did this to Doc Jihoon._

That has been Seungkwan's message an hour ago─full of resentment for making his best friend cry.

Soonyoung also resents himself for making it happen. He has promised to never hurt Jihoon, but he's doing exactly that now.

He's seriously tired of explaining himself. No one can ever understand what is running through his mind right now. In fact, he can't understand it too. He doesn't know why he's suddenly being pelted with flashbacks of a life he used to live.

"There's no other way. The records would be in Beijing," Soonyoung says just as he books his two-way flight ticket. He is only giving himself a week to settle this. It would be a difficult task since he's not really fluent in Chinese; he's only relying on Junhui to read it for him just like he did with Xu Minghao's name on the tapestry. Then, if he can't find anything on Minghao during the trip, he'll go home to Jihoon. He only hopes Jihoon would still accept him.

"You're being absolutely stupid," Hansol says, shaking his head. "You don't even know if it's real or if it's just your imagination."

Soonyoung glares at Hansol. That is one of his worries, but he's already so full of doubts about everything now that he doesn't need Hansol to rub it in his face anymore. He just wants his answers. "If you don't have anything good to say, just leave me alone."

No one fucking understands.

Hansol twists in his seat uncomfortably and puts the phone facedown on the table. "I mean. I'm sorry, hyung," he says quietly. "I shouldn't have said it like that. I just kind of feel bad for Jihoon hyung."

"And you think I'm not?" Soonyoung shoots back. He takes a deep breath to calm himself. "Just… go. Thank you for checking up on me."

Hansol bites his lips and hesitates for a moment before standing up. "Have a safe trip. Let us know what happens there," he says. "If you want," he adds hastily, then leaves the restaurant.

Maybe Hansol is right. Maybe this is really just one big stupidity. 

He hopes this stupidity will be worth it in the end.

Soonyoung still has a day before his flight. He would have booked the earliest he could find, but all the seats are occupied too close to departure day. He has only chanced upon the last seat for tomorrow's flight at 1:35 PM.

Rather than drowning in his thoughts in his hotel room, he visits the National Library, in the hopes of coming across anything on past lives or even a record regarding Xu Minghao or anyone with that surname. His father used to work in the Forbidden City─surely there will be at least one mention of him in old Chinese chronicles? Minghao paints a lot. Would someone have at least inherited his works? Maybe have it displayed in a gallery somewhere? Household staff wanted to help him─Junhui, rather─attach the tapestry on the wall. He must have been rich in his past life…

The National Library, of course, is a huge place and contains millions of books. Soonyoung approaches the reception to register before he is instructed to speak to the librarians regarding the topic he wants to explore. 

He is embarrassed to even say 'past life,' but he has to suck it in, otherwise his effort to go here will be wasted. The librarian was happy to tell him that there's a small corner about this topic, and she leads him to that aisle.

Soonyoung pulls out some of the interesting titles he can find from the shelf and takes them over to an empty seat. 

Apparently, memories of a previous life can manifest through déjà vu and dreams. They may also be recovered from visiting the places significant to a previous persona. That explains the déjà vu Soonyoung experienced while he was in Beijing, particularly when he was in the Palace City. Going back to that place where Junhui lived has allowed Soonyoung to see through the eyes of his former self. 

Reading through, Soonyoung comes across the term 'past life regression,' a kind of hypnotism that allows a person to revisit their former life. While past life regression isn't backed by science, it's a method some people also use for spiritual and psychotherapeutic purposes. He scribbles the information on a notepad he has brought with him and takes note of the office address of one Lee Chan, who is briefly mentioned in the book as an expert in this field. His office is tucked in one corner of Incheon; maybe he can drop by after coming home from China.

On his way back to the hotel, Soonyoung passes by the National Museum. It's open for another hour.

Recalling that Minghao was a painter, he decides to enter and look for ancient arts on display. Since Minghao is Chinese, Soonyoung doesn't have high hopes of finding anything here. He simply wanted to try because he's already in the vicinity. The receptionist was happy to point the direction to the World Arts Gallery on the third floor. 

Soonyoung enters the room with a sign that says it's the Chinese Gallery. There aren't too many paintings here, much to his chagrin. Those on display aren't even similar to what Minghao made. A lot of the items on display are old vessels, ceramics, figurines, and mirrors.

Dejected, and after hearing a prompt that the gallery is closing soon, Soonyoung retreats. He intends to go back to the hotel instead and prepare his stuff before flying to China tomorrow afternoon. 

Lost in his thoughts, Soonyoung bumps into someone who seems to be talking intently with a museum staff. They have come from an empty room, probably planning the next exhibition. The three of them stop in the middle of the corridor following their little accident.

"Please watch where you're going."

"I'm sorry."

Soonyoung bows to the stranger absently before looking up.

_His search is over._

Soonyoung is charged extra for cancelling his flight to China. After settling the payment online and extending his hotel booking until the end of the week, he returns to the National Museum.

The person he's been looking for is in Seoul, working as a curator at the gallery. His name is Yoon Jeonghan, and even though he no longer has the sharp eyes and pointy ears, Soonyoung knows it's him. He can see Minghao's shadow in him, if the way he snarks at Soonyoung is any indication. The attitude is mildly familiar to him because somewhere deep in his memory, Junhui knew Minghao was also like that. 

Instead, Jeonghan has almond eyes and high cheekbones. His lips are thin but curve in a pretty shape. He carries with him the same amount of confidence as Minghao, the same elegance, and same passion for the arts. 

"What do you need?"

Jeonghan rolls his eyes, and Soonyoung's heart sinks. 

He recalls Jihoon also holds a similar aura; maybe he, both in the past and the present, has a thing for this kind of attitude? When he met Jihoon at the hospital, he rolled his eyes at the fuss Soonyoung and Hansol had been making over his minor injury, and even more so when Soonyoung started visiting the hospital over and over for different check-ups. He almost maxed the limit of his health card then. But once he was able to breach the walls that Jihoon has set up around himself from (questionable) strangers like Soonyoung, he discovers that Jihoon is, in fact, an ultimate sweetheart. 

Judging from the remnants of Junhui's feelings, Soonyoung can say Minghao is like that too─wary around strangers, but tender around the people who matter to him. 

"I just need a few minutes with you and explain what I've been trying to say about─"

"─about me being your past self's husband?" Jeonghan continues the statement for him. "That's a ridiculous idea. How can you even make anyone believe you?"

"Just hear me out please," Soonyoung pleads.

"Don't make me call the cops on you. I personally know the chief investigator at the SMPA," Jeonghan threatens. "In fact, I should call him now." He pulls out his phone from his pocket and dials.

Yes, well. If Soonyoung were Jeonghan, he wouldn't believe himself either. He decides to just fuck it and blabber whatever he can before said chief investigator comes in to drag him away from his husband's reincarnation.

"You were Xu Minghao, you lived in Beijing with─"

Jeonghan's finger stills at the mention of the name, but the call has pushed through. With a baffled expression, he raises the phone to his ears while maintaining eye contact with Soonyoung. "Yes, Seungcheol, honey. I'm sorry, I… must have butt-dialled you. Go back to work… yeah, all good… okay, see you at home. Love you," He ends the call then wordlessly beckons Soonyoung to the nearest table.

"What did you just say?" Jeonghan asks sharply, still in shock about something.

Soonyoung sighs in relief. Finally, they're talking. "I said, you're Xu Minghao in your past life. You lived in Beijing with─"

Jeonghan cuts him off there again. "Have you been stalking me or what?" he asks.

"No, why would I?" Soonyoung says incredulously. "I was merely able to─I don't know─wake my past life persona or something? I started having these visions about my old life in Beijing with my husband─who happens to be you. You were Xu Minghao, and─"

"Wait, hold up," Jeonghan interrupts. Soonyoung hates being interrupted, but since he has Jeonghan's attention now, he decides to let it all go. After all, Jeonghan seems to be stunned about what Soonyoung is saying. "For the record, I am already married. That was my husband on the line earlier," he says firmly. "But most importantly, how did you know my ancestor's name?"

It's Soonyoung's turn to get shocked. "My husband─no, _Wen Junhui's_ husband─Xu Minghao was your _ancestor_?"

Jeonghan sighs, crossing his legs and folding his fingers over his knees. "I am descended from a long line of scholars from China. That is, until my great-great-grandparents immigrated to South Korea. That's why I have Chinese ancestors somewhere along my bloodline, even though I am born from Korean parents," he explains. "My sister and I have been tracing our roots─like a personal project, you know? The name Xu Minghao appears way, way back, sometime around the 1700s. About 300 years from now. He was like the cousin of one of my greatest great-grandparents."

"1700s," Soonyoung repeats in disbelief. "That's… so long ago." 

"I can't believe that bit about past life something you've been talking about," Jeonghan says thoughtfully, leaning back against the chair and crossing his arms. "But if that is indeed true, you're saying that one of my ancestors reincarnated as myself?" he asks.

Soonyoung nods slowly. "Yes. I can see his shadow on you actually."

Jeonghan seems to get chills because of that. He clutches at his arm and looks around wildly. Soonyoung sighs. 

"No, not like that," he says exasperatedly. "More like… okay, this is going to sound really weird, but it's like I'm looking through the eyes of Wen Junhui─my former self─and senses Xu Minghao in you. Like, the way you carry yourself and such. Even his striking physical features like his eyes and ears. He's got fairy ears, by the way," Soonyoung adds.

Jeonghan gapes at him. "I don't know how to react to the fairy ears part, but you keep saying the name Wen Junhui and that he's my ancestor's husband. That name never appeared in any of our records."

Soonyoung wonders why that is. Could he be remembering it all wrong?

"Plus, you said Xu Minghao lived in Beijing," Jeonghan says. "A lot of the clan members did based on the records from the Imperial Palace, but Xu Minghao was mentioned only once as living in Anshan in Liaoning, China. It's actually a very obscure name, but I remember it especially because I've been trying to look for more records related to him."

"He's a painter. Have you tried looking for his works?"

That piques Jeonghan's interest more. "I didn't know that. Maybe I should give it a try," he says thoughtfully. "But you should know that some of these records and artifacts already got destroyed due to wars and natural causes, so somewhere, there would be a lot of dead-ends and missing links," Jeonghan explains. 

He types in a note on his phone about looking for Minghao's paintings.

"I appreciate this possible lead in our research. I hope you're not fooling me," Jeonghan says. "But seriously, that past life thing is just too hard to believe. You're claiming that you saw visions of your life from 300 years ago? Me as the reincarnation of your old husband? That's a pretty bad pick-up line."

"I'm not here trying to woo you or anything just because you're Xu Minghao's reincarnation," Soonyoung says firmly. "I am married too, and I love my husband with all my heart. But isn't it curious that Wen Junhui and Xu Minghao were supposed to be married in the past, yet now we have our respective partners?"

"You mean like soulmates? Why do you care so much about those things?" Jeonghan asks. "You're a grown-up adult. Stop having these child-like fantasies about, I don't know, red strings of fate or whatnot."

Soonyoung grabs fistfuls of his hair and tugs at them in frustration. "It keeps nagging me because I keep seeing these flashes. I know I don't have any other way to prove that, but it's true. I want to know the answers. I want to know what happened to Minghao because Junhui seems greatly indebted to you. I want to know who my husband was in his past life and how our lines overlap."

"Indebted to me─to Xu Minghao?"

"Yes," Soonyoung confirms. "And I don't know why that is if they were married."

Jeonghan is silent for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, particularly at the mention of Junhui's indebtedness to Minghao. "Have you ever consulted an expert in this subject matter before?"

"I've found a name somewhere─Lee Chan, I think? In Incheon."

"Maybe you should go pay him a visit," Jeonghan says.

Soonyoung dials Jihoon's number, but he is redirected to voice message. He leaves one, telling him how much he misses him and how sorry he is for what's happening between them. He'll just call Hansol and Seungkwan later and ask how his husband is doing. 

He still hasn't come home. He only has five days left in his leave, but following his conversation with Jeonghan, Minghao's reincarnation, he is set on the right path closer to the answers to his question. Maybe, that's what Junhui saw in Minghao. Maybe, that's the reason he always associated his husband with gratitude. Minghao then and Jeonghan now both have inherent abilities to be helpful whether they know it or not.

Pocketing his phone, he reaches a finger and jabs the doorbell. A cheerful receptionist comes into view and lets Soonyoung in. "Do you have an appointment?

Soonyoung gives her the details. After that, he is told to wait at the lobby because Lee Chan is still attending to a patient. A few minutes later, a lady walks out with a man, her face blotchy but she's smiling, before the receptionist tells Soonyoung to enter the office.

Lee Chan is a smiley man. He invites Soonyoung in with a cheerful hello and lets him sit first on the chair behind his desk. 

"So, what can I do for you?" Chan says genially.

Alright. Here goes another round of explanation. Soonyoung is starting to become uncomfortable with having to tell someone what he's going through, and yet none of them understands anyway. He sighs deeply, but before he can actually speak, Chan says, "It's okay if you think it's weird. I've seen that look from a lot of people before, usually the ones who came in here alone. Nothing is weird here." The hypnotist smiles warmly.

"Thank you for that," Soonyoung says in ease before relaying his story. To Soonyoung's relief, Chan has never interrupted except to scribble the names on this notepad. 

Chan steeples his fingers under his chin after Soonyoung is done with his tale. With a pout of his lips, he seems to be considering something. "That's the most detailed recollection I've ever heard from a client," he says after a while. "It's no wonder you're too disturbed by it that you are now seeking my assistance."

"I just want to complete the story," Soonyoung says.

"It might be easier too, since we already have a lot of memories to work with. You should be able to quickly recover them once we get on with the procedure," Chan says. He stands up and invites Soonyoung over to a reclining couch in the middle of the room.

Soonyoung takes his jacket off and sets his bag on the floor before lying down.

"Please close your eyes and relax," Chan says in a soothing voice. "Focus on your breath… inhale… exhale…"

Junhui sits next to Minghao at the library, the tapestry fluttering slightly from the breeze seeping through the room from the open windows. Minghao likes it bright, loves the sunshine. The cherry blossom is in full bloom outside, and some of its petals fly in. It's a beautiful day.

Junhui dips his brush on the ink but blotches the paper as he proceeds to write. Minghao sighs behind him, but there's a smile playing on his lips. "You should have removed the excess, like so," he says, demonstrating how it should be done.

Then, he shows off by writing neat characters on his scroll.

_Wherever you go, go with all your heart._

Junhui stares at the words, deep in thought. 

"What's the matter?" Minghao asks, shaking him from his reverie.

"I just… nothing," Junhui says. 

Minghao watches him intently, perhaps waiting for him to continue. 

His husband is indeed a good man. Nine seasons have passed since their marriage, and while it has become apparent to Junhui that Minghao hates their situation as much as he does, Minghao tries his best to make this work for them. They have since become friends, if Junhui is to put a label to it. Minghao asks the best questions and listens well when Junhui gives his answer. Everyday, they learn about each other and grow closer together.

In the end, Junhui surrenders to Minghao's piercing stare. "I did go with all of my heart," he says.

Minghao nods. "You've travelled far and wide, indeed. Didn't you say you love the sea?"

He dips his brush again and paints sweeping lines at the bottom of his page. Junhui watches him do this a few more times until it makes sense to him that Minghao is painting the sea. 

"You went with all of your heart," Minghao repeats slowly, adding dots here and there on the page. "But you seem to have left it where you've been."

Junhui raises his eyes to look at the side of Minghao's face. There's the knowing smile again. 

"I wonder," Minghao continues before meeting Junhui's eyes. "What happened in Chaoxian?"

Soonyoung wakes from it like a drowning man emerging from the water. He takes in all the oxygen he can, desperately so, as he opens his eyes. The artificial light from the bulbs overhead blind him for a moment. 

"Water," Chan offers, holding a glass up to his face.

Soonyoung takes it and sips. His mind is reeling from the recent memory he has just uncovered from Junhui.

"Chaoxian… Chaoxian…" 

"We might have to stop here for now," Chan says. "This will take a toll on your psyche. Let's take this slowly, okay?"

Chan listens to Soonyoung as he imparts what he has just seen. It helps him calm down considerably, as Chan assists him in making sense of it all.

Soonyoung doesn't know where Chaoxian is, but Junhui seems to have gone there and left his heart, if he's to go by what Minghao assumed. At least he gets a new clue to his mission.

He promises to return tomorrow, and Chan says he is welcome anytime.

A quick search tells Soonyoung that Chaoxian is the Chinese name for Joseon or Korea back in ancient times. But what happened to Junhui in Korea exactly, he has no idea.

Soonyoung is back as Junhui as he wanders unfamiliar terrain. 

He seems lost in a forest, and he's desperately looking for the way out while trying his damnedest best to remain hidden behind the thick branches of the trees and the tall shrubs. Someone was chasing him last night, and the trees provided good cover as he escaped. 

It looks like it's high noon now. His body aches all over, and he's hungry. The things he brought with him when he travelled were unfortunately left in the inn he rented as the hunters descended on him. He has nothing on himself aside from the clothes he was wearing when he jumped out of the window into the back alley and into this forest.

He is starting to get delirious, drained, and one wrong footing sends him tumbling down a cliff.

Everything goes pitch black.

When he comes to, he's lying down in a hut. It takes a few moments before his brain can catch up with the possibility that he's been captured and is now being held hostage. He scrambles off the bed and lands on the floor hard, putting pressure on his ankle. He has only just realised it's bound in bandages. He yelps in pain.

"Ya!"

A bespectacled stranger enters the small room, holding a basin. He sets it aside to rush to Junhui's side and helps him up. He rants as he goes, gesturing wildly at Junhui's ankle and checking up on it.

Junhui doesn't understand what this person is saying in his deep voice.

(Soonyoung does: "What were you thinking, jumping off the bed like that? You could have just called out if you needed anything! It's not even a serious injury, but it could get worse if you're not careful. Now I have to adjust this one…")

The man has cat-like eyes and a high nose bridge. His face is well-defined and angular, making him look somewhat fierce. Despite his shabby clothing, he looks strikingly handsome.

Junhui watches him work, squatting in front of him on the floor to cradle Junhui's foot and re-tie the bandages. Once he's done, Junhui looks around, and it just dawns on him that the ceiling and walls are covered in all sorts of herbs and roots. It looks like he's in some kind of infirmary and this man is a doctor.

The man stands up to his full height again and gets the basin. In it is a wash cloth, which he wrings dry and hands to Junhui.

("Wipe your face. I haven't finished cleaning you up before you woke," the man says)

Junhui takes the washcloth absently then stares at him, not comprehending a single word. The man's jaws drop. He mimes talking and shaking his head and hands. Junhui nods.

("Oh my god, what do I do… looks like he's not from Joseon…")

The man thinks for a moment before rushing out of the room. He comes back a few seconds later with some paper and an inkpot. He scribbles something on the page and holds it up for Junhui to read. The Chinese script says Quan Yuan You, but when the man gestures to himself, he enunciates "Jeon Wonwoo" clearly. Then, points at Junhui with an inquisitive look. 

"I'm Wen Junhui," he says. He takes the paper and writes down his name, dropping a blob of ink clumsily.

"Moon Junhwi," the man─Wonwoo─reads. He writes on the paper, "From the Great Qing?"

Junhui nods.

Wonwoo wordlessly retrieves the washcloth that Junhui has earlier cast aside on the bed and takes on the job of wiping away the dirt off his patient's face.

It's difficult to communicate, but since Wonwoo is literate in Hanja, he can pretty much tell Junhui what he wants to happen as they stay together in the house. Junhui still hasn't recovered because he keeps breaking his ankle by trying to walk around and help with the chores despite Wonwoo's constant refusal. He has only kept still like a good boy when Wonwoo finally lost patience and nagged him for it. Based on the long explanation Wonwoo has written in the paper, he ran his carriage onto Junhui when he suddenly rolled down the cliff and into the road as he was passing by. Guilty with hurting someone, albeit accidentally, and given his duty as a doctor, he decided to take Junhui in and help him heal. 

In turn, Junhui has told Wonwoo about the men trying to chase him. He ran away from home because his parents wanted him to marry a stranger. He snuck inside one of the trading ships departing for Chaoxian. But the clan sent men to go after him, and the men were able to trace his location at the inn in the town centre. That was how he ended up in the forest, rolled down the cliff, and met Wonwoo.

"Please, let me stay here for a while. I have nowhere to go," Junhui pleads, and he knows Wonwoo won't be able to understand him anyway, but his request is desperate.

Wonwoo senses his urgency, and given the story he wrote on the paper, he puts one and one. He allows Junhui to stay, in exchange for helping him brew the medications for his patients and collect wild roots for his stock.

Little by little, Junhui adjusts to the language of Joseon. Wonwoo is a lenient teacher; he also helps Junhui learn the common words and read Hangul whenever there are no patients to attend to.

By this time, it has been three years since Junhui and Wonwoo met.

Everyday, they have grown closer to each other. Junhui has proven to be an effective assistant to Wonwoo. Before, he doesn't take Junhui on his trips to far-off towns in his missions to check up on villagers who can't go to the town centre. Eventually, Junhui has learned enough about healing that he can administer medications side by side with Wonwoo and speed up the task considerably. Junhui is glad to be able to reach new destinations even though he has to wear a veil around half his face to maintain his cover.

Yongin is vibrant, and when there are feasts that might catch Junhui's interest, Wonwoo takes him there along with his trusted friends, Seokmin and Jisoo. It might be too far inland─Junhui always misses the seaside─but he has started to love this place and the people who live here with him.

Wonwoo, most especially.

Wonwoo, who has taken him in without question and allowed him to continue with a new life he never thought possible. Wonwoo, who is very caring and understandable and gentle even when Junhui messes up sometimes. Wonwoo, who laughs at his lame attempts to be funny to wipe the stress off his face after a long day. Wonwoo, who has put together a lantern for them to send to the sky on Lunar New Year and wished freedom for him. Wonwoo, who has stuffed him into the huge clay pot when strange men appeared at their doorstep, waving around the image of a 'missing person' that greatly resembles Junhui.

"They're gone," Wonwoo says reassuringly after sending the men off. He lifts the hay covering the pot and helps Junhui out.

"Thank you for keeping me safe," Junhui says. He has only just realised he's trembling with fear. Wonwoo takes his hands and massages his fingers to help him relax, but Junhui pulls him in for a tight hug, burying his face at the crook of Wonwoo's neck. They're almost the same height, but he feels small at this exact moment. "Thank you so much."

Wonwoo wraps his arms around Junhui in return and pats the back of his head soothingly. "I'll protect you. Don't worry."

It's almost the end of winter. 

Junhui fans at the hearth while brewing a new batch of medications for Wonwoo to stock. Wonwoo, meanwhile, is splitting wood by the fence. Seokmin and Jisoo drop by, delivering milk and sharing the news of a group of performers from Nihon who will visit Yongin to showcase their magic tricks.

"Sounds fun, eh?" Seokmin says, nudging Junhui. "You should both come with us. Jisoo and I are going to watch."

"Well, if no patients come by, we'll join you," Wonwoo says, leaning against the ax.

"Come on, just close up for one hour! Don't be such a killjoy," Jisoo says. "It's going to be amazing! I heard they gathered huge crowds in the south last week."

Junhui doesn't say a word but looks up hopefully at Wonwoo. In the end, Wonwoo gives up, "Fine."

Thankfully, no patients have come around seeking Wonwoo's help. He wanted to stay an extra few minutes just to be sure, but Junhui, Seokmin, and Jisoo have all dragged him along to the town centre. True to Seokmin and Jisoo's words, the performance has been splendid. They are able to secure a seat in front of the crowd, chewing on their dalgona candies as they watch and laugh along to the magician's tricks. 

"How did that happen?" Junhui laughs out loud. This is his first time to see such a show, and he is beyond excited.

Wonwoo is already looking when Junhui turns around to ask for his opinion about the disappearing rabbit. Junhui's heart swells in his chest at the proximity of their faces. 

"Are you happy?" Wonwoo murmurs.

Junhui watches the stars twinkling in Wonwoo's eyes, ignoring the new act that has come centrestage. Past the lenses, they are such beautiful eyes, and Junhui drowns in them. "Yes, _very_."

It's the best night of Junhui's life in Joseon. But the reason for that happiness has nothing to do with the rabbits.

The four of them stroll around the plaza some more before heading back. Wonwoo keeps on checking on Junhui's veil to ensure his face is still hidden even as they have fun. Seokmin and Jisoo walk ahead, kicking each other playfully in the shin and singing arm in arm as they go. 

Twilight has taken over by the time they return to the house, so they don't notice the man slumping on the fence right away. Junhui and Wonwoo take one look at each other before rushing over to help.

"What happened?" Wonwoo asks frantically, trying to help the man up. He isn't as tall as Wonwoo and Junhui, but his body is well-built and bulky, making him heavy. Junhui opens the door for them and goes back outside to collect the man's belongings which have spilled on the road. They consist mostly of clothes and books.

Wonwoo deposits the man onto the bed out in the veranda, which is reserved especially for weakened or unconscious patients needing immediate attention. Upon further examination, Wonwoo determines the man is running a high fever. He asks Junhui to heat the concoction he made earlier and to bring them water.

They spend the night attending to the unknown man, taking turns in wiping him down every hour.

"You should go in and rest," Wonwoo tells Junhui, but Junhui refuses to move. 

"No. I'll stay here with you."

The sunshine hitting him directly in the face is what makes Junhui jerk awake. It's morning already; he can't even remember how he fell asleep last night. Wonwoo is busy stirring something from the pot simmering over the fire and doesn't notice him come to. Their patient from last night is already up, watching him intently. Junhui speaks to Wonwoo first.

"You didn't wake me," he says.

Wonwoo turns to him with a bright smile, brighter than the sun rays that woke Junhui in the first place. "You seem so tired. I did take a nap, so don't worry."

Their patient is still watching Junhui so intently that Junhui has grown conscious about his appearance. That's only when he realises his veil has fallen off his face.

"Are you feeling well?" Junhui asks to ward off the awkwardness of the situation. 

"Hm," he hums. "Thank you for looking after me," he adds, still not breaking eye contact with Junhui.

The three of them eat together out in the yard. The man has introduced himself as Ma Baekcheon, who has travelled on the same ship as the performers from Nihon. He isn't a performer like them, he has said, but he's coming home after studying overseas.

"Figures," Junhui says. "You have a bag full of books with you." Junhui points to the corner where said bag is propped against, and Baekcheon thanks him for taking care of his belongings.

"What happened to you, though?" Wonwoo asks conversationally.

"I get seasick a lot, and I have never stopped for a minute of rest since docking at Incheon because I wanted to reach home before dusk," Baekcheon says. "In the end, my stubbornness has led me to intrude someone else's house."

"It's quite alright. It's normal for us here. Junhui and I always get random visits from patients."

"Then, I'll go ahead after washing the dishes. That's the least I can do to repay your kindness," Baekcheon says.

Wonwoo has tried to wrestle the plates out of Baekcheon's hands, but their visitor insists. Once the plates are drying on the rack, he takes his bag with him and exits the yard with more thanks.

(Junhui and Wonwoo didn't notice when the man walked in the direction of Incheon Port instead of the opposite way.)

Junhui is sweeping snow off the yard and laughing along to something Wonwoo has said when the Xu clan's men arrive. They topple over the stack of pots of prepared medication by the entryway, causing them to shatter and spread wasted on the floor. The firewoods are also sent flying in all directions. Wonwoo is quick to pull Junhui behind him.

"Who are you?" Wonwoo says defiantly, glaring at the men who have caused so much mess in his home. Behind him, Junhui shakes in fear.

One of the men, the bulkiest of the lot, tilts his head at Wonwoo before speaking directly to Junhui in Chinese. "This is your great defender?" he mocks. "It'd be too easy to break his bones."

The neighbours have come rushing around the low perimeter wall, trying to see what the commotion is about. Among them are Seokmin and Jisoo, who are both panicking. Seokmin turns to Jisoo urgently, telling him something before rushing away, perhaps to call some guards over. But their town is so far from the next bureau; it's going to take him so long. 

"Don't hurt him," Junhui says, speaking in his native language for the first time in a long while.

"Sure. Just come with us peacefully. Your betrothed awaits."

"What are they saying, Junhui?" Wonwoo asks, speaking with the corner of his mouth. "Are these the men hunting you down? What do they want?"

"They want me to go with them back to Beijing," Junhui switches to Korean, getting tongue-tied in his fright. He grips the back of Wonwoo's garbs tightly.

"I won't let them take you," Wonwoo says, backing further into the wall.

Before they can reach the door, however, the men start grabbing them from all directions, separating them, and beating Wonwoo up. Jisoo and the neighbours are screaming angrily and calling for help, but the knives that the men have started brandishing to their throats shut them up effectively. Jisoo attempts to get past the men, and they bodily throw him to the ground. Wonwoo tries to put up a fight, pushing at the men to reach Junhui, but they only punch and kick him harder. Junhui screams as two burly men hold him by the arms and make him watch the scene unfold helplessly. 

"Stop! Stop!" Junhui cries to no avail. 

Wonwoo's eyeglasses shatter on the ground as the men continue to hit him around the head. They only stop when someone speaks in an impatient tone.

"What's taking so long? We don't have all day."

Junhui looks up and sees Baekcheon entering the yard with an air of authority.

"You!" Junhui screams. "You traitor!"

Baekcheon replies in perfect Chinese. "I did tell them not to beat you up since you so kindly helped me," he says patronizingly. "You shouldn't have resisted."

He paces around the yard, kicking the shards of broken pot littering the area.

He then addresses Wonwoo next, switching to Korean, "It's funny how recklessly trusting you are. You accept strangers and even serve them food while hiding a fugitive in your home. Let's learn from this lesson, alright?"

"What do you want me to do? You want to take me?" Junhui says. "Fine, take me! Just please, stop hurting Wonwoo…" His last words end in a sob.

"You could have just said that right away," Baekcheon smirks. He turns to his men. "Take him."

"No!" Wonwoo screams, trying to get up, but his arms give way. "Don't! Junhui! No!"

"I'm sorry, Wonwoo," Junhui calls over, dragging his feet over the ground, stalling. "I'm sorry they did this to you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I─"

"Enough," Baekcheon says.

Junhui is hurled unceremoniously into the waiting carriage.

Back in Beijing, Junhui learns that Ma Baekcheon is actually Ma Boqian, the right-hand man of Xu senior, who has been tasked to look for him and bring him home for three years.

Junhui turns to face Minghao, bows at him to complete the wedding ceremony─thinking that if he does this properly, they won't hurt Wonwoo anymore.

Soonyoung wakes up crying earnestly.

Chan is quick to offer him another glass of water and a box of tissues. "Calm down," he says. "It's okay. It's all in the past."

"Wonwoo…" Soonyoung hiccups. "I couldn't protect him. I shouldn't have dragged him through my mess."

"It's not your mess," Chan says quietly. "It was Junhui's, and you are no longer Junhui. You are Soonyoung now."

"He got so badly hurt because of me…"

"You've got nothing to do with that," Chan repeats patiently. "Are you sure you want to continue with this? It's starting to blur the lines between the past and the present for you."

Soonyoung shakes his head. "I want to finish this. I'm almost there."

Chan sighs in resignation. "In that case, we'll carry through tomorrow."

"Jihoon… I'm sorry for a lot of things, both in the past and the present…"

Soonyoung's call goes through voice message again. He's starfished on the bed staring at the ceiling but not really seeing it as his mind wanders. Chan is right; this whole thing is taking a toll on his mental health. He's utterly devastated, and it's all on behalf of Junhui who has been dead for 300 years now. At the same time, the closer he gets to the answers, the more he wants to dive in and reach them.

He raises the phone again to dial Jihoon's number, but as soon as he taps the call button, it becomes the answer button─Jihoon is calling.

He has never got up from bed as quickly. "Jihoon. I missed you. How are you?"

Jihoon doesn't answer right away. The line is quiet save for the sound of him breathing. Then, "I miss you too. I'm sorry for blowing up on you last time."

"It's perfectly understandable, Jihoon," Soonyoung says. "I was being a unreasonable."

"Hansol told me you've been having a hard time... He and Seungkwan have been accompanying me a lot. Sorry for not picking up the calls."

Tears well up in Soonyoung's eyes, recalling what happened to Wonwoo. "I'm sorry for hurting you."

"No, it's…" Jihoon sighs desperately. "I'm sorry for not taking your side in your most turbulent times, Soonyoung." 

He sniffs on his end of the line, and alarm bells blare in Soonyoung's head. "No, no, please, don't cry. It's okay. I'm almost there, Jihoon. I found Minghao, and I'm going through sessions to trace it all back. _I've found you_ ," Soonyoung says firmly.

Because of course, Jihoon is Wonwoo in his past life. Wonwoo, who suffered because of him, because of Junhui. It was a lot of things─it was mainly Minghao's parents and even _Junhui's_ own parents─but ultimately, it's because Junhui came into Wonwoo's life and got him caught up in everything. Junhui blamed himself. 

"I've found you, and I'll go back to you. I promise. _I promise._ "

"Then I'll wait."

Junhui wakes with a start, sobbing hard, causing Minghao to rouse from sleep too. Only the moonlight provides the light through the slits of their bedroom window. Minghao gets up to check on him.

"What's wrong?" Minghao asks gently, laying a hand on Junhui's chest.

"Wonwoo."

Ever since Junhui told Minghao about Wonwoo─every fine detail of their times together in Chaoxian, every bit of feelings Junhui has for the man─Junhui has started having nightmares about him.

It's always the same scene: Wonwoo lying broken on the ground. Sometimes, there is more blood than Junhui can remember. Sometimes, it's dream-Junhui who drives a knife into dream-Wonwoo's heart. He always wakes up crying, and Minghao is always there to sooth him.

This time, what Junhui saw in his dream is Boqian turning Wonwoo's face to the side with the tip of his boots. Junhui screamed at him to stop touching Wonwoo, but no voice came out of his mouth even as he tried with all his might. Boqian moved his foot over to Wonwoo's chest instead and stomped hard. Wonwoo coughed up blood, calling Junhui's name weakly. And Junhui, being restrained by invisible forces, couldn't run and shield him just as Wonwoo protected him all these years.

"It's just a dream, Junhui. Wonwoo is fine," Minghao says. He gets a handkerchief to stem the tears flowing freely down the sides of Junhui's face.

Junhui sits up and leans his forehead against Minghao's shoulder. Minghao rubs circles down his back.

"How could I know that? What if your father's men have started kicking him around again?" Junhui asks.

"I'll know if they do. And they won't do anything to him anymore," Minghao says. 

Unable to sleep, they decide to just wait for the sunrise. Minghao brews a pot of tea for them, and they lounge at the library where most of Minghao's paintings are displayed. The library conveniently faces the east too, and they will get a good dose of the morning sun from here if they throw the windows open. In the distance, the cherry blossom isn't in full bloom yet.

"I'm really sorry my father's men did that to Wonwoo. I never wanted them to get you. I asked them not to look for you anymore because I didn't want the marriage," Minghao says, his fingers toying with the lid of his cup. 

After more than two years of their marriage, this is the first time Minghao is saying this. His confidence to admit this all to Junhui now may be due to Junhui's earlier confessions about Wonwoo. 

"But father felt he was dishonoured in front of the city and didn't want to go back on his words, so he did everything to force the wedding to push through," Minghao continues.

Junhui sips on his tea. The sky is slowly turning into a lighter shade of blue.

"Is it Mingyu?"

Minghao smiles sadly. "We've known each other for more than half our lives since his family moved here from Chaoxian. They swore allegiance to the empire. We were fifteen then, I think. He was trained in the martial arts and wanted to be a part of the military. Father recruited him instead because I'd been weak as a child. He's been my guard since, but he's also my best friend."

"And you love him as much as I love Wonwoo."

"I do love him," Minghao says. "So much so."

Junhui has found out from Minghao that Mingyu tried to delay Junhui's capture by diverting Boqian's trail off to Anyang. But it was Junhui's active participation in Wonwoo's community services when he was supposed to be hiding that got them caught in the end. The veil did very little to conceal his identity from his hunters.

The sun has risen to just over the tops of the roof of their house's east wing, casting the library in a pleasant yellow glow. Minghao's painting of the waterfalls and forest glows prettily with it as it flutters in the gentle wind. Their household staff are starting with their routine to sweep the ground around the tree and split firewood for the hearth. The prickly sound of the broom and the dull thuds of the ax against wood mingle with the sound of the birds twittering just outside the window.

Minghao finishes the last of the tea. When he places the cup back on the table, he quietly tells Junhui,

"Let's escape on the next new moon."

They sit around a table, Minghao and Mingyu facing Junhui on the other side. A map is spread out between them, illuminated by a single lamp. It's night time, and all the household staff have been sent to sleep in their chambers while the three pore over their plan.

"Are you sure this would work?" Junhui asks Mingyu.

"If we carefully stick to the plan, we will succeed."

"Zhou Zhennan will meet you just outside Beijing," Minghao says. "And he'll guide you all the way to Shenzhen."

Junhui studies the map again. "Why can't I just go with you to Liaoning and enter Chaoxian from the north?" 

"Because it's going to be dangerous if we go as a group in the same direction," Mingyu explains.

"We'll have to separate at the border, Junhui. There's no other way," Minghao says with finality.

The prospect of separating with Minghao dampens Junhui's mood. Minghao has been a dear friend to him. Not to mention he's afraid of what the Xu patriarch can do this time when they find out about this plan. But he has to grit his teeth and just take the chance because after this, he'll be with Wonwoo again. 

The night is moonless, but no one dared to bring a lamp lest they draw more attention to themselves. They have shed their flashy robes in favour of shabbier garbs to blend in with the masses.

A boy waves them over, jumping from one of the horses grazing a secluded patch of grass just outside the border of Beijing. 

"Just in time," Zhou Zhennan says casually. 

Apparently, Mingyu has a large network of contacts here and there, and Zhennan is one of those. He has travelled everywhere and can easily move from city to city without the need of a map. He's much younger than all of them, but he speaks with close to zero formalities. 

"Shall we?"

Junhui stares at Minghao. This is probably the last time they'll see each other. They won't even have means to send letters to each other after this when he and Mingyu travel west before trekking up north and Junhui heads south before sailing to Joseon. 

Minghao smiles encouragingly at him, touching the lotus tassel dangling from his belt. The red stands out from the gray of Junhui's clothes, the charm being the only sign he holds a high social status. It seems only yesterday when Minghao got it for him. Minghao tucks it behind the belt to keep it from view.

"Be careful."

Before Minghao could say anything more, Junhui engulfs him in a tight hug. Minghao wraps his arms around him too.

"Thank you so, so much. I can never repay you," Junhui says. He hides his head in Minghao's neck to hide the tears forming in his eyes. "Thank you for being my ally and my friend."

"Thank you for everything, Junhui. We'll see each other again, hm? Let's greet each other as old friends and have tea together with Wonwoo," Minghao says. Junhui feels a patch of his own shoulder getting wet as Minghao cries in his arms. He has never shown his tears to Junhui before. "For now, let's be free. Go and reunite with your heart where you left it."

Junhui breaks the hug to wipe Minghao's tears with his thumbs. He then cups Minghao's face and kisses his forehead. Turning to Mingyu, he says, "Take care of him. Don't ever hurt him."

Mingyu smiles at him and bows slightly. "Of course."

With that, they take their separate ways, never to hear from each other again.

Soonyoung heads back to the hotel after another emotional session at Lee Chan's office.

The first thing he does as soon as he toes off his shoes is pull out his phone. It's already Thursday, and his leave is coming to an end. 

He dials Jihoon's number. 

"Soonyoung. How are you?"

"I just got back from the session, Jihoon," Soonyoung tells his husband. "I'm almost done."

"That's great to hear."

They continue to hold the phones up to their ears, not saying anything. Soonyoung gets absorbed into thinking things would've been so much easier if Junhui had a phone back then. He could have just asked for Minghao's number before they separated at the capital's border. 

He still doesn't know what became of Junhui when he travelled south. Chan told him to come back tomorrow. 

"I'm coming home soon," Soonyoung says. He's coming home to Jihoon soon just as Junhui went back home to Wonwoo.

Soonyoung's next vision is of Zhennan looking shabbier than before. It seems as though several moons have passed since he and Junhui left Beijing. It takes Soonyoung a moment to realise Junhui is back in Incheon. 

Junhui and Zhennan separate at the port. Zhennan says he is meeting an old friend here. But before they part, Zhennan whispers to him,

"The man you're meeting here? He's the one. Now and in your next life."

"What do you mean?" Junhui asks the boy.

Zhennan doesn't answer that. Instead, he claps Junhui at the back like an old man. Without waiting for a word of thanks, he sets off his own way, whistling as he goes.

Junhui treks to Yongin, not even stopping to rest in his haste to reach the house where he used to live with Wonwoo.

But when he finally gets there, the house is empty and in a state of disrepair.

Dread floods Junhui at the sight. He checks every room just to be sure. He runs down the road, to the house at the edge of the hill where he knows Jisoo and Seokmin reside.

"Junhui," Jisoo says in shock, standing up from where he's tending to the flowers behind the low wall. "You're back."

He calls Seokmin over and invites him to the sitting room for a meal. Junhui hasn't eaten since he arrived.

"Where is Wonwoo?"

Seokmin pushes a bowl of soup towards him before getting up and reaching inside a drawer by the window. When he returns to his seat beside Jisoo and in front of Junhui, he hands him an envelope. Junhui's name is written in neat blocks.

"We didn't know if you could ever return," Jisoo says. "Everything happened in a flash, and you were suddenly dragged by these unknown men somewhere. Wonwoo told us about your circumstances and said he believed you'd be married as soon as you get to Beijing.

"It took him days to recover from his physical injuries and even more from the pain of being separated from you. He was so heartbroken. Seokmin and I had never seen him like that before," Jisoo concludes.

Junhui bows his head, tears dripping from his eyes. His hand shaking, he opens the envelope and sees a note from Wonwoo.

"We don't know what that is, but he left it to us, saying that if in the slightest chance you'd ever come back for him, we should give that to you," Seokmin supplies. "Then he moved houses─we don't know where. That was the last time we saw him."

In the paper was a single line: _House by the sea, Changwon._

"He's in Changwon," Junhui says. "How do I get to Changwon?"

Soonyoung takes the taxi back to his home with Jihoon.

When he woke up in his final session, Chan smiled at him warmly. He noted how Soonyoung looked happier this time, and they took almost an hour just discussing what he had seen in his last vision.

"I knew all along that things would turn out great for you," he said, clapping Soonyoung on the back. "It just took you a long, _long_ time."

Chills ran down Soonyoung's arms at the déjà vu.

The elevators take too long, but he gets to their apartment floor in the end. He has the key to their house and knows their passcode, but he opts to ring the doorbell just to alert Jihoon of his arrival.

He's surprised that Seungkwan and Hansol open the door for him. A wave of age-old familiarity crashes over him. "Where is Jihoon?"

Seungkwan smiles at him and points to the balcony. It's Soonyoung and Jihoon's favourite spot when they got this house because it gives a perfect view of the Han River, which twinkles especially beautifully at night. 

Soonyoung approaches his husband, who has been watching the river.

"Jihoon…"

Wonwoo turns away from the wonderful view of the open sea and looks at Junhui with a tearful smile.

"You came back."


	2. All this time, I have been yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue.

It's stifling hot outside. Summer has begun, and it's not treating them very kindly. It's a great relief when they finally entered the traditional but air-conditioned café in Hongdae.

Hands intertwined, Soonyoung and Jihoon walk to the table they have reserved in advance. 

It has been months since Soonyoung has undergone past life regression. Upon their reunion when Soonyoung finally came home, he told Jihoon all about the story of Junhui and Wonwoo. He also recounted out who's who in their previous lives. Seungkwan and Hansol, who joined them for dinner that night, were amused to know their friendship had transcended time. 

"It's a good thing you had those sessions," Hansol said. "I was called Hong Jisoo in my past life? That's pretty amazing to know."

"You said I was being stupid," Soonyoung grumbled, and they all laughed.

"Well, you were, but we're all stupid before we learn the truth, right?"

Seungkwan rolled his eyes at his boyfriend but ruffled his hair fondly. "Right you are, Mr Intelligent Guy. This is why I love you."

Jihoon pretended to gag at that.

The chimes over the door sound pleasantly as two people enter. They look around in confusion first before seeing Soonyoung waving at them. The pair takes a seat before Soonyoung and Jihoon.

"How have you been?" Jeonghan addresses Soonyoung. "This must be your husband?" he asks.

Jihoon extends a hand over the table to shake Jeonghan's. "Hi, I'm Jihoon."

"Nice to finally meet you," Jeonghan tells him pleasantly. "This is my husband Seungcheol."

Seungcheol isn't as tall as Mingyu had been, but he has the same aura of refinement, his back straight and his shoulders set in a firm line. Yet much like Mingyu's, Seungcheol's eyes exude nothing but kindness. Soonyoung remembers Jeonghan saying his husband is a police officer at the SMPA─a chief investigator, no less. Mingyu might not have been able to fulfill his dream of joining the military in favour of becoming Minghao's guard, but Seungcheol has achieved it for him.

They order tea while catching up. This is the first time Soonyoung is seeing Jeonghan again after he told him all about being Minghao's reincarnation. Jeonghan updates him about his and his sister's research on their genealogy. From old records, they found out that Minghao ended up getting disowned by his parents for escaping to Liaoning with his guard. It lines up perfectly to what Soonyoung discovered from his past life regression, so he tells him and Seungcheol the story of Minghao and Mingyu. 

"Minghao said the four of us should have tea together, so here we are."

Jeonghan dissolves into a crying mess at that, touched that an ancient promise between friends has been fulfilled by them in the modern times. Seungcheol chuckles in amusement, wiping Jeonghan's tears for him.

He recovers later. "Thank you for telling us. And I'm glad Junhui and Wonwoo were able to reunite."

"Thank  _ you _ for making it possible," Soonyoung says. "I mean─Minghao. That was why all of Junhui's memories of Minghao are associated with gratitude. Because he had been a great friend."

"It's so interesting, isn't it?" Seungcheol says. "I just hope I got Mingyu's height. It would have been nice."

Jihoon leans forward on the table at Seungcheol. "Same," Jihoon says empathically. They share a hearty laugh at that. 

Their tea session ends with a promise to meet again some time. They exchange numbers before parting ways.

Soonyoung and Jihoon are left. They drive to Han River that afternoon, walking hand in hand on the riverside. 

"That's why I was so drawn to water," Soonyoung says. "I lived inland all my life, but my dream was to have a home by a body of water."

In the distance, their apartment building stands visible amongst its kind.

"And I was born in Busan, just a stone's throw away from Changwon," Jihoon points out. "It was all really meant to happen, isn't it?"

Soonyoung squeezes Jihoon's hand. "Yeah. It's been 300 years. I wonder what will happen in our next lives…"

"You better go find me again," Jihoon says with a smile, looking up at him.

Soonyoung stops in his tracks in the middle of the walkway. Facing Jihoon, he cups his husband's face and kisses him on the lips.

"I will always come home to you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how was it how was ittt >< if you've reached this far, thank you so much for reading my work! please yell at me in the comments section, don't be shy! ^^


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